Being a single mom is not as bad as it seems to be. I always believe that God will never put you in a situation that you can’t handle.
My ex-husband left us when our baby was only 1,5 years old. I was 29 years at that time. Before he left, I resigned from my job because I wanted to focus on my family. However, it turned out that my marriage was over. I didn’t know how to survive and I was crying a lot... Not knowing where to go or if I would have money to support my self and my child. There it was, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to help at their new little company. I immediately said yes. I agreed to whatever they were able to pay me because it helped me to survive. At least I was able to buy milk and food and I could save up to pay for a nanny to watch my child while I was working. I stayed with the company for 3 years, it was an event company. Therefore, I had to do events outside the city sometimes. When that happened, I brought along my son and nanny. I made sure I woke up to prepare my son’s meal, I wanted to be the first person he saw when he woke up. I made sure I came home at night, no matter what the time was, he knew I was beside him when he was sleeping. Before he started to go to school, I made sure he was with me. Even when I was working. I made sure he was close to me. When it was time for my son to go to school, I sold my car, so that I could pay the entrance fee for his school. Sometimes you just got to do what you got to do, right? Public transportation at that time in my country was not easy. I prayed to God and asked for a better job with normal working hours, so I could spend more time with my son. I wanted to be there "more" for my son. As he grew older and required more attention. Alhamdulillah, God answered my prayers. A friend of mine from Microsoft called and asked if I wanted to join a new hardware company and working as the country marketing manager. Of course, I said yes! Things got better especially from a financial perspective. So here we are......15,5 years later. My son knew I did what I had to do to provide for our little family. But sometimes, unexpected things would happen. Sometimes he would say things as a joke, but his words kinda slapped me hard in the face. One time he said; “I am not your son, I am the nanny’s son” or “you always work", and you are not my mom”. That hurts like you can’t imagine!! He said sorry mom, and told me that he knew why I was working till late....but yeah.. still it hurts. I try to be a good mom and our relationship is different from my relationship with my parents. I want us to be best friends, I want him to be able to trust me so that he can open up to me..... about anything...girls, his friends, his challenges, etc. I enrolled him in a school where he can learn the fundamentals of our religion. I chose this school because I knew I wasn’t able to teach him. Through having this religious foundation, I hope that he will find guidance in life. Lastly, as a single mom with a child (or children), it’s hard to find a man who can be the husband, the father figure, or the friend to our children. I had to learn it the hard way. At the end of the day. I have learned not too be selfish and not to rely on anyone but myself. I am not expecting, but maybe one day (if I’m lucky enough) I will find a man who can be my life partner as well as play the father figure role to my kid(s). For sure, he needs to accept and be accepted in my little family. But, until then. I just need to accept that this is my life now, I have a good job which I love, I have 2 beautiful children (yes, I adopted the 2nd one) who I have to raise, guide, nurture and provide for.. and most importantly I have to have faith in God and trust that he will always guide me through my journey in life. I just hope that when my kids are big enough, they are independent and have made it on their own. You know, in a way that when the day comes that I leave this life, I don’t have to worry who will take care of them because they can take care of themselves. As I come to an end of my story, hopefully by sharing this, it will give all the single moms out there some reassurance that we will be able to make it and that you are not alone. Being a single mom, is a hard life, especially in the beginning! But believe me, it will all work out at the end and you will see that it is ok to be a single mom.
9 Comments
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